Merry Christmas

Can you believe that our desk top crashed twice in three weeks? After the second crash our laptop then died three days later. I went a whole three days with out the Internet or email. I must admit how surprised I was at the difficulty of that. A little embarrassed too. I tend to be the "I can live without technology person" and I can but not painlessly. :o)

We still haven't recovered all the pictures, school stuff or address book but haven't given up hope. We don't have the means to run out and buy new or fix these quickly.

We have to wait. Waiting is good as we are being reminded in our Advent devotions daily. Waiting causes us to yearn and be more grateful. Anticipation is so God engineered to make us curious, excited and joyful.

I anticipate a well working computer (that isn't slow...this one takes FOREVER to load a page) at some point and a New Year around the corner. Most of all I look forward to celebrating again Him who is amazing grace, born in a barn so that I could be whole and free.

I won't be around much, between broken computers, moving house and celebrating Christmas life is full. I look forward to regular posting again in the New Year. Pictures of the new house to come (when we have them ).

Have a Merry Christmas.

No More Blackberries

I have been rolling around in my mind this one piece life that Ann talks about. Joy posted about the divided life this week bringing it to my attention again. If only I had a brain that didn't forget and a heart that didn't stray.

I started blogging and writing to record, reflect and remember the gospel in everyday life. It wasn't until about 7 years ago that I understood the gospel in its entirety even after being a Christian for almost 12 years. I had heard only part of the gospel. The cross was not central, it was my ticket to salvation but not my sustenance for daily life.

As I have grown in the gospel, doctrine has become my friend. The sound teachings of God's truth are an ever faithful and safe companion in life's ups and downs. What I am finding as time goes on, is there is more to this then just doctrine and clear truth. Not an addition to the truth but a widening of it. There is a beauty to the gospel that I have not seen so clearly. I have been equipped with truth, with sound thinking (most of the time and not perfectly), and a love of His ways but there is something more. Where Ann speaks of the one seam life, the lack of divide between the scared and secular; seeing, being and worshiping in those mundane moments of life.....this is grace, beauty....the gospel in the everyday. Being thankful for THIS moment, being present right NOW. Relishing in a child's story instead of thinking about my next chore, seeing the task before me as worship instead of dread.

Tonight I had a small glimpse. As I cleaned plates after dinner I was overwhelmed with gratefulness over those four dirty forks and plates. My cleaning them meant we were full, my children are here with me.....they are content and laughing in the other room. Beauty in the mess and dirt of life.

These moments are few and far between. That I see clearly the gift of God's goodness and grace in the mundane repetitious moments of life. I long for more of it...am asking to see more often and more clearly. For the gospel, for truth to run so clean and fresh through my life that there is no sacred and secular....that all would be worship.

I can know all I want about doctrine and the word. But living it out and the application of it is where life gets ugly. Finding the beauty and grace in each day, in each moment is making things mesh between what I know, how I live and who He is.

This particular part of Ann's post struck me:

Too often I fear I miss the burning bushes and just eat blackberries.

“Earth is crammed with heaven,
and every common bush afire with God;
but only he who sees takes off his shoes.
The rest sit around it and Pluck blackberries.”
~Elizabeth Barret Browning

Do I see the presence of an ever-present God in the now and take off my shoes? Or do I sit around eating blackberries, oblivious to the holy ground of this moment?

Exasperated, I raise my voice to holler for kids to come... and stuff my mouth with blackberries. As I mutter over mittens and boots dropped at the back door, I tear the seamless weave. As I lecture in disgust over beds unmade, juice runs from my mouth, dripping on the torn scraps of my life. Do I not think that God is here, present with me? Do I forget that this moment is worship, as meaningful as Sunday morning in the sanctuary? Why do I rip up the fabric of my life, tearing God into a scrap there, so I might do as I please in this fragment here? Sunday mornings find me unfolding my seamless white prayer shawl, spreading it over bowed head.

I yearn to be done with the insidious plucking of blackberries off burning bushes. They stain the white of one pieces. I desire to live bare foot: all is holy ground. Time to forsake the scissors and give up cutting and piecing. I am taken with the wonder of white stitches on seamless white cloth.

With a one piece shawl wrapping me, I set out for a one piece life.


Reading the entire post is well worth your time.

So, the Book

You might expect it to be a heavy theology book that made such an impact on me during my retreat. Far from it. Yet it is something I think is of great importance, as well as a form of daily worship. The book I read is called In Defence of Food by Michael Pollan.


When I mention a form of daily worship don't think I've gone off my rocker. What I mean is how we eat and what we eat has a direct effect on how we function and live. Should we not see those choices as part of an opportunity to do the best for our bodies in order to do our best for Him? In North America especially, Christianity and food have no connection except that there is food at every event ( at least in my church). I would say this extends to North American culture as a whole. We have so much food, that little is considered about that food. We have what we want, when we want it and in abundance. We of my generation know little of food except the food industry. Food comes from the store and fast food restaurants. We consider little how far it traveled, if it was ripe when picked, or how the animals we eat were treated or raised. We have no clue where our food comes from or who is growing it.


Now, Mr. Pollan's book has nothing to do with Christianity and food. It does have much to do with knowing where your food comes from, how it is processed and those effects on your body. He also very effectively addresses the marketing plans of big food companies looking to make food about money and not health.


My eyes were so opened to how I view food and it's packaging at the store. Though I buy our meat at a local meat farm where I see the cows living in fields and eating real grass and buy our produce at a spray free local farm (as much as possible) I still was being swayed by the marketing ploy of "nutritionism". I was not looking at food as well....whole foods but the little parts they might contribute to my health. So I would be sucked into buying a food that tauts a certain type of nutrient instead of realizing that eating whole food is more important. If it has more then 5 or so ingredients then it probably borders on the line of being a food product and not real food.


His advise is too shake the hand of those that feed you. This got me to thinking. Though I do this in some ways there are still more ways to work on this. Like eating in season instead of buying green house grown modified distance traveling food. How this will actually look day to day I haven't totally figured out. Now that we are moving much of this will be delayed till we get settled.


But over my retreat weekend I did make a 4 week rotating menu plan that I come across in blogland. More on that later and the link to where I found the idea.


I do recommend reading this book if only for the eye opener. To be more aware. I also want to add that I don't think you are missing heaven if you eat beef from the grocery store and processed food. Just last night I was trying a new recipe...it failed disgustingly and we went to Wendy's. Aaron was working late, we had just spilt hot chocolate all in my silverware draw, all over the floor and stove top and everyone was just grumpy. I was done...those are the times we eat junk because it's easy.

Bit by bit I hope to make more changes. For me there is such a connection between living wholly for Him and eating whole food. It's not the gospel by any means but it's important to me and a gift I can give my family. Especially my one child who seems more sensitive to additives and preservatives. I have a long way go especially with my carb and chocolate addiction and my tendency to eat when bored or stressed. All material for another discussion. :o)


Let me know if you do read or have read this book. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Steadfast Love

41. Constant patients from above

42. Faithfulness not based on my faithfulness

43. Hope

44. Never failing forgiveness

45. Ever comforting truths

46. Warm breezes for cold hearts

47. Full plates carried by another

48. Sight to know this is not my home

49. God's sovereignty even in the choices of others

50. A great helper in my time of need.

Guess What?

If you happened to read #40 on my One Thousand Gift list this week you might have a clue.

I am still in shock myself.....we are moving again. This is our 4th move since 2006. As a renter you are forever at the mercy of other people's choices. Our landlords want to live in their house so we move on.

I was planning to start a new series of posts related to the book I mentioned reading on my retreat. Now that chaos has descended I will postpone that till things settle.

Things will probably be quiet around here for a while. Not only do I have normal life to live, which alone can be challenging, now I am in hot pursuit of a place to live.

Oh...to own! That is my dream.

1,000 Gifts

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,

give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thess. 5:18

31. honesty

32. quiet

33. hard work

34. good friends

35. good books

36. time to think

37. watching the wheels of discovery in my children

38. yummy homemade bread

39. community worship

40. sturdy apple boxes for my beloved books (see next post for why)



To start at number one.

Solitude

My weekend away was a great time to rest and think. This is my first time ever going away alone. My husband has gone to visit his family with the kids so I can school plan and get some house cleaning projects done. This weekend was for me to just be and wait on the Lord. A real gift!




One of my favorite parts was the uninterrupted reading times in the chair above. I devoured a book in three hours with out having to stop once except for a bathroom break :o) I plan to share about that book later this week. It is something I have been working to change much of over the last year or two and really enjoyed this read.

I also enjoyed extended times in the word and prayer. Something I so miss in the early mornings and late nights of homeschooling, small children and long houred jobs.

To simply wait on the Lord. To listen. To pour myself out.

I have come to understand that I spend little time asking for help. I have a helper who is ready. A helper that is willing and waiting...whose sole job is to show up for me and provide what I need for whatever is in front of me. I am on a learning curve to access that help. There is something in the asking, in the needing, in the letting go that comes in no other way. It isn't since the death of our son Jonah that I have felt so desperate, walking with Isaac in his struggles. Even though I can still despair at times.....God IS bigger!

This Psalm was a big part of my meditation over this weekend.

My Soul Waits for the Lord

Psalm 130

1Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!

2 O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

3 If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?

4 But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.

5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;

6 my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.

7 O Israel, hope in the Lord!

For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption.

8 And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

Plentiful Redemption leaves me with much to think on.

I am truly grateful for the opportunity to come away. It's owed all to my very kind husband who man-ed the fort while I was away.

I have recently been listening to a song based on Pslam 130. Get a taste of the song here.

Click #9.

The munchkins had to check out the bed and make sure it was fit for mama to sleep on.